Today...

It's almost 8 pm and I just decided to sit down and write this post. I'm punching it out one handed whilst feeding a baby who was more than patient while I wrestled his 2 older siblings to bed tonight (sans husband who is working late tonight). Today has been accomplished on 3 hours of broken sleep from last night (thanks to my 2 year old), a mid morning drive to force said 2 year old (who has refused naps since her second birthday last May) to take a nap, and graham crackers. That's right. Graham crackers. This morning I texted my husband and ask him how I was suppose to be a loving and patient mother today with such little sleep. He texted back a very uncharacteristic response. "Lots of candy." Well, we didn't have any candy so I ate graham crackers. I think they might have helped too so, when in doubt, eat sweets to help you survive your day. Now, mind you, I am also attempting to remain a lovingandpatientmotheronverylittlesleep while doing my least favorite parenting task. I'll give you a hint. It starts with a P and ends with otty training. Ugh. It's going ok but in still don't care for it. Now, I don't tell you all of this for you to feel bad for me. This is motherhood. The good, the bad, and the ugly. It's days like today where I sit back (after the kids are in bed) and think about what I did wrong for the day, and perhaps what I did right. It's days like today where I am more inspired to make goals for myself. Things I want to improve on personally and as a wife and mother. I mean, ask me what I was thinking at noon and my mushed brain would have spit out something about a quesadilla and maybe some soiled underwear. But in the now quite house, with my sweet baby cooing in my arms and my dog curled up by my side, I'm not thinking about the toys that are surrounding me or the kitchen that needs cleaned. I'm thinking about my awesome and crazy kids and what I can do to be the best mom possible for them. So I guess it's important for me to have days like these. They keep me focused. Goal oriented. Motivated. So I'll take it. But so help me if I don't get sleep tonight tomorrow nights goals will likely consist of a massage and a whole lotta candy.

Welcome to the world Jonas!

I can't believe my baby is a month old. An entire month has passed and he is still just as sweet as the day he was born. Seriously. He is the sweetest baby. Just the thought of him makes me smile. He has me smitten.

 

So before he goes to college I wanted to make sure I document the events that took place the day he was born. So here goes. (FYI, I'm a nurse. Words like mucous, membranes, etc. do not bother me in the slightest. If they bother you, stop reading.)

 

The weekend before Jonas was born Nic was moonlighting in Roosevelt. I was a little testy about this particular trip because if I were to go into labor while he was gone it was going to be tricky trying to get everyone to where they needed to be. (I was 38+ weeks, so it was not out of the question.)  Luckily I did not go into labor over the weekend. He came home Sunday night and Monday morning I woke up and, for the first time, experienced a "bloody show".  My doctor had offered for me to come in that Monday to have my membranes stripped. (She had offered to do it the week before, but I told her no because Nic was going to be gone). I really debated whether or not keep that appointment on Monday. I had a few reasons for feeling this way, some of which might be kind of silly. See, Monday was September 10th. I figured that if I had my membranes stripped that day then he would likely be born the next day. September 11th. I wondered how it would be to share a birthday with such an infamous day. Would people seem apologetic that his birthday was on that day? Would it even be a big deal at all? I didn't want my eagerness to get him here to interfere with his future birthday funness. So that, combined with the fact that my doctor works in Park City on Tuesdays and that Mason had his first soccer game of the season Tuesday night, made me question whether I was rushing things. After seeing that things were starting to get underway, however, I decided to just go with it and keep my appointment. So my membranes were stripped and there started my 2 days of labor.

 

After my membranes were stripped on Monday morning I had increasingly uncomfortable contractions. With each of my pregnancies I had Braxton Hicks contractions starting as early as 14 weeks. Toward the end of each pregnancy they would get more and more intense, but I wouldn't classify them as "painful". But as Monday wore on my contractions were getting uncomfortable, but definitely not the real thing yet. Nonetheless I called my mom and asked her to come down from Idaho because I figured we were close. Once my mom got here we headed out for a long walk in hopes of getting things moving. Nic came home that night and still nothing. So we all went to bed. At about 3 am Tuesday morning I woke up with some pretty intense contractions. I went downstairs and laid on the couch thinking I'd let Nic sleep as long as possible. My contractions were painful and every 7-10 minutes apart. So I just waited. And waited. And waited. It felt like labor, but I didn't want to go in until the contractions were a little closer together. So when Nic woke up I told him to go to the methadone clinic (another moonlighting thing) and then come home and we could reassess. So at 7:30 am he came home, but by then my contractions were like 20 minutes apart. So I sent him to work. And for the rest of the day I was having pretty painful contractions every 20 minutes or so. That continued until about 5 pm when they started coming every 10 or so again. I called Nic and told him that I was still planning on going to Mason's game and to meet us there. So with the help of my mom I contracted my way to Mason's game. At this point I was having to breath through the contractions and they were coming every 5 minutes. Pretty much my friends at the game said I was crazy and that I should get going. I held out until half time and then Nic and I went home to get our bags. By the time we were done my mom was pulling in with the kids so we said goodbye and told them we were bringing them home a baby brother. Mason was so excited he was giddy. So off we went. At this point my contractions were still every 5 minutes and were enough to make me swear and tear up with every one. So we go to the hospital, made it to labor and delivery, and got put in the room where the decide whether to admit you or not. They hooked me up to the contraction monitor and I laid down on the gurney and then...my contractions stopped. I mean completely stopped. I was there for an hour and didn't have one contraction. At this point I was so tired (from the previous nights lack of sleep) and frustrated that I was not a happy girl. Luckily the admitting NP came in and said she believed I was in labor, but that we just needed to kick it in gear. So she told me to come back in an hour and see if I progressed. She said the more I could walk around the better. So we left (and of course I had a big fat contraction the moment I stood up). Nic hadn't eaten so we went to the hospital cafeteria and I refused to sit down. I just walked back and forth. Then we walked up and down the halls and finally made our way outside. It was about 10 pm at this point and my contractions were once again every 5 minutes. Nic joked that we could take what the residents affectionately call the "stairs to death" up to the Huntsman. I mean, these stairs are seriously steep and seriously long. I said lets do it. So up we went and I almost puked with every contraction on the way up. At this point I was just mad about the whole thing and I told Nic that if they sent me home I was going to have to have this baby there because I would have no idea when to come in. I was in labor and in a lot of pain, and I'd like to think I'm a pretty tough girl when it comes to pain. So after walking up and down the stairs in the auditorium for a bit, we went back to

L & D and once again, the moment I laid down my contractions stopped. I was nearly in tears at this point I was so frustrated. Luckily during that hour I had dilated another centimeter, so they admitted me. After they got me to my room I asked if I could walk around a bit just to ensure that things kept moving. So I spent a very painful 45 minutes walking circles around the med school. Nic was so sweet, making me laugh between contractions and scoping out garbage cans that I could puke in if I needed to during contractions. We headed back to the room and by midnight (now September 12th!) I got my epidural. They then broke my water and I spent the next few hours never really falling asleep, but feeling the most comfortable that I had in months. Seriously. My epidural was awesome. I had nearly complete mobility and could move around really well, and I could feel my contractions, but the edge was most definitely gone. I was so relaxed and comfortable. I know epidurals aren't for everyone, but I really enjoy the calm and peace where I can just think about whats ahead. Its a sweet time for me.

 

Finally around 5 am the nurse came in and checked me. I was feeling pressure and I was shaking pretty bad. So I figured it was time. It was, but I guess at that point there were about a thousand other things going on in the unit. The power had gone out in the night (kind of crazy) and it was just generally a nutty night. My doctor had called in earlier and had a sick kid at home and couldn't make it (though later she said she could have but she thought I had already given birth...bummer), but luckily they found a doctor in the hall and pulled him in. He was fantastic. My doctor even said that she couldn't have chosen anyone better. As it came time to push we were all waiting for a contraction so I could start. And in true form for this whole process we waited. And waited. And waited. I was 10 centimeters dilated and ready to push and once again my contractions petered out. I joked about stage freight but was really pretty mad about the whole thing. Finally a weak little contraction came and at this point I was so frustrated I just pushed with all my might and with 2 pushes he was out.

 

Jonas came out at 5:21 a.m., bright eyed and not crying. In fact, they had to give him a good rub down until he started to really cry. I wasn't worried, though, because he looked great and was wide eyed checking things out. Even after they got him to cry he didn't cry for long. (This has proven to be a theme for him. He's not much of a crier. Yet at least.) They gave him to me and it was instant love. There is nothing sweeter than seeing your child for the first time. Nothing. I held him for about an hour before they took him to the warmer to check him out. (I love delivering at the U because they allow you to hold them for as long as you want before they even think about taking them away). Despite the frustrations earlier in labor, this was a very peaceful and wonderful process. I don't really know how else to describe it. I feel so blessed to have 3 sweet little people entrusted to me. Jonas truly makes our family more complete. From the moment I even thought about conceiving him I have felt his spirit so strongly. He is special, but then again I think all my kids are. I am just so grateful to my Heavenly Father for this chance to raise his children. I can only hope that I do Him proud.

 



Now for the pictures.

 

 

This is taken between contractions at Mason's game. Nothing gets labor going like cheering like a crazy lady for your kid.

 

No pictures were taken during the "death march" as I will call it. Probably a good thing.

 



 

Waiting for the doctor to come in so I could push. That smile is brought to you by my epidural.

 

He's here! (I think I have a picture that looks exactly like this only with Sage.)

 

8 days early and still a big boy.

 

Hanging out with Daddy for the first time.

 

Meeting Mason.

 

And Sagie.

 

Family of 5!

 

Grandma took such good care of us.

 

Grandpa and Aunt Marci stopped by.

 

First bath. They do it in your room, right next to the bed. Another reason why I love the U.

 

 

 

Getting ready to head home. We were discharged the day after he was born. Nic doesn't really like to stick around long. And I can't handle watching him pace the room all day. So we got out of there quick. I do have to say, though, that some of my sweetest memories with my husband are in that hospital room after our babies have been born. He is an incredible daddy. If anyway could take a peak into our house at any time they could see that. He is also a wonderful husband and he takes such good care of me. In the hospital he ensures I have everything I need at all times. From making sure there isn't any water on the floor that I could slip on when I get out of the shower, to ensuring that I have a pony tail holder within reach when he leaves the room--just in case. He is really great, and I really like him.

 

On his way home.

So there you have it. Although I'm sure the years will fade the memory of his birth, I hope that I always remember the way I felt. The same goes for all of my kids. I do not take for granted that this is something so special and so sacred. Despite a tired body, I feel so fulfilled. So grateful. So in love. And ultimately so, so happy.