For him.

Nic and I waited for 5 years to have kids. Thats a long time, but it was what worked best for us. Those 5 years were full of crazy adventures, leisurely weekends, last minute road trips, and pretty much us doing whatever we wanted to do. Don't get me wrong. We are having a whole new kind of adventure now. Its just as fun and infinately more rewarding. But I'm not going to lie. Its harder.

In the early years, despite having our whole lives to ourselves, we were always slaves to school. These past few weeks, however, I am seeing that that was especially easier pre-children (and my hat goes off to all our friends who did med school with kids). Nic has to take his physics boards on September 9th and as a result he has been MIA for the last few weeks. Its been hard on him, hard on me, hard on the kids, (and especially hard on the dog) but as any of our resident friends know, its a necessary evil. We spent the last week up in Idaho just so we could give Nic some guilt-free study time and that was fun, but we are home now and we are hoping to catch a glimpse of him here and there over the next few weeks.

Honestly, I didn't start this blog post to complain about this. It really hasn't been THAT bad. Could be worse. What I really wanted to emphasize in this post was the extent that our lives have changed since having kids. I don't know if anyone else experiences this (I would kind of think they do), but kids were a major adjustment for us. We went from leading our relatively selfish lives to dedicating our every effort and thought to our kids. We are both crazy about our kids. Even after the biggest tantrum on earth I can still look at Mason and think he is the smartest, cutest, sweetest, most awesomest boy in the galaxy. And one look into Sagie's eyes and I know that she is heaven sent and certainly the most beautiful creature to walk (or rather sit on) the earth. As most parents believe about their own, I believe we have the best kids. Sometimes, though, I think I get so caught up in this whole parenthood thing that I don't give the love and attention I should to the one who is in this crazy world of parenting with me. Does that happen to anyone else? You get so wrapped up in kids that at the end of the day you look at your spouse and think, "Oh. Hey. I know we've been around each other all day, but this is the first time I've really seen you." Terrible huh? I know its not always like that. Sometimes I am able to stop and take in the man I married. I can watch him play with the kids, my heart bursting in adoration. Or I can watch him make dinner, my heart bursting in jealousy that even though I can make the exact same dish, his is always tastier. But all too often those are just moments. All the other minutes and hours of the day I am caught up in the kids, the dog, the house, and myself. So here it is. On a public forum, over the internet, so hopefully you can read it on your blackberry on a break from the monotany of studying. Nic, you are my best friend. From the day I met you I have always been able to be myself with you. Completely myself. You are smart, handsome, funny and kind. But you know all that. Or at least you know I think that. What you may not know is how infatuated I am with you...still...after seven years. You really are the best thing that has ever happened to me. So although I know I get caught up in day to day "stuff", and therefore don't always do these feelings justice, just know that I love you forever. and ever. and ever. Happy studying sweetheart.